Is the Boat Race worth it? And how do I handle my ‘finance bro’ mates? – Chiswick’s Angsty Aunt

Image: The Oxford team in the 2024 Boat Race

Our very own Angsty Aunt is back to take on two more of Chiswick’s and life’s most pressing issues, the annual boat race and how to deal with friends who perhaps aren’t the same people you grew up with. If you have a question you’d like the Angsty Aunt to take on next, be it a minor Chiswick based irritant or a looming existential crisis, send it directly to info@thechiswickcalendar.co.uk

“Do you like the Boat Race?”

No, not really. It’s a bit like the Monaco Grand Prix – fun for those involved, dull for the rest of us.

I do love the pedigree behind the Boat Race though; I wish it was more common. Exhibition matches, that carve out a unique history and disappear as quickly as they come around, should draw excitement.

There’s no reason this should stop at rowing, however. There must be plenty of sports that capture the imagination of the average punter. Chess Boxing has become a thing (no subtext here – the sport consists of chess, and boxing).

I personally have no interest in the race, famous as it is. I think other sectors of the public eye would benefit the crowd more if they had their own show pony. It’s not my bag, but the commercial success of the Sidemen Charity Match proves there’s a market for such events.

We could run back the years and reintroduce jousting, maybe even at the parliamentary level. Who wouldn’t want to bear witness to reluctant crowd favourite, Ed Davey, saddling up against the young pretender, Kemi Badenoch – watched on by the scores of the politically homeless as they eye their ballot boxes.

But, if the powers that be insist on keeping the formula, then at least raise the stakes. If I’m going to have one Sunday a year overrun by pomp, circumstance and the Green Welly Brigade, I just think it should have more intrigue. The boat race alone simply doesn’t do it for me.

It would gain a new wave of followers, I’d have thought, if they upped the ante. Do battle in crocodile infested waters. Let the race winners secure government funding for the next year. Have fun with it.

Personally, I’d love to see a punting race through the waterways of Cambridge or Oxford. Winner stays on. Dirty play is not discouraged, it’s a necessity. How is this not a thing?!

As it stands, the most controversy this year can muster is debating whether a diploma qualifies as a degree. Hardly pulsating stuff.

Still, I guess it beats last year’s E. coli scandal, which was just depressing.

Clearly, the upper crust still yearn for this famous race between two storied establishments, even if it doesn’t extend far beyond them. And it is quite cool that Chiswick is part of the history.

But I – like many people I’ve asked – don’t feel any attachment to it, and I won’t be watching. Come back to me when they’re allowed to use torpedoes.

Image: The spiritual home of the ‘Finance Bro’. Credit: Photo by Sam on Unsplash

“My uni friendship group have all gone into finance and are turning into finance bros. I’m still really close with them, but it embarrasses me on nights out and I find myself apologising to strangers for how they are. Help?”

It’s a curious problem to have; probably a more common one than most people are comfortable admitting. I’m sure a psychologist somewhere has named this phenomenon – an offshoot of second-hand embarrassment aimed directly at associating with the cast of American Psycho.

For those needing clarity, a “finance bro” is typically a young man who obsesses about the stock market or cryptocurrency, is driven by money and has a strong desire to be viewed as such.

Let’s cut to the chase. When they can get going they can be, at times, unbearable. A Mount Rushmore of ignorance incarnate.

A question that certainly my friends have touched on in the past is: is this behaviour a pre-requisite of being a “finance bro”, or is it learned? Correlation or causation. Nature or nurture: the ultimate duality of man.

Without trying to justify anybody’s actions, young men often feel a strong desire to be heard and feel like an authority on something. Money is a big topic to feel authoritative on.

There is logic behind the success of men like Andrew Tate, the absurdly famous finance-cum-trafficking-cum-chauvinist’s dream. If you’re unfamiliar with the name, look him up, and ignore his impact on young men at your peril.

But that is for another time – there’s no evidence to suggest he’s overly relevant here. And whether the answer is nature or nurture, that’s not going to help you much here.

For what it’s worth, if you were friends with them beforehand, nurture seems more likely.

To address this person’s question, I’d wager that your embarrassment comes down to your own self-image.

First, I’d ask yourself what exactly makes you feel embarrassed.

Photo Credit: Sam on Unsplash

A reasonable guess would be simply by association. Assuming you are around my age, I get it. Finance workers get a lot of stick for their work. People are very quick to judge. Sadly, it’s not uncommon to shy away from a friend because of how you think they reflect on you.

Bluntly, in your friendship group, you’re the odd one out, not them. I’d suggest, therefore, this points more to your own fears of how you’re perceived than whatever it is they’re doing.

If you’re still close with them, it doesn’t sound like they’ve had a total personality change. You may have naturally outgrown each other a bit. Even in the closest friendships, people can drift apart. Uni is a bubble, and when it bursts, you lose the commonality that brought you together.

It’s reasonable to expect a shift in your relationship.

Then again, it might just be a phase, as they try to establish themselves in their careers, and possibly play up to their own caricatures – something I’ve noticed happens quite a lot in the financial world. I wouldn’t be too hasty to sever ties just yet.

In any case, I’d never apologise for the friends you have. If they’re being rude or difficult, then it’s different, but draw a line between apologising on their behalf, and apologising because of them. Apologists, I’ve found, rarely thrive in social circles.

Having friends from all walks of life should be celebrated, even when they’re in finance. Think of all the good bars you’ll be invited to in a few years’ time.

Your mates, although a part of your life and character, don’t have to define any aspect of your personality. Making light of the situation is always a plus. Play yourself off as being “just here for the free drinks”.

As long as they’re generally good-humoured people, I think it’s a simple solution to your problems.

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