Performance art?

Images above: Dartmoor Winter 1 painting; artist Joanna Brendon

One of Chiswick’s best loved artists posted on her Facebook page a day or two ago about ‘One of the most embarrassing incidents in my life…’ In for a penny, in for a pound, Joanna Brendon says she’s happy for me to share it. The story unfolds in Poundland in Chiswick High Rd …

Joanna writes:

I went into Poundland to buy some washing detergent. I found the one I wanted but it was on the top shelf so I asked this woman if she could reach up and get it for me. She happily did that and put it straight into my wheely basket. When I got to checkout, I suddenly slipped and fell into a large stack of biscuit tins, and chocolates which came tumbling down around me. Embarrassing. Then I realised that I had slipped in a pool of detergent which had leaked from the litre bottle in my basket. Then – and this is the cringe-making moment – I looked back and saw that I had left a trail of detergent up one aisle and down the other. In other words, everywhere. Even more embarrassing..

If Poundland had intended to instal a festive skating rink, I would say that they’d done a pretty good job. All the buyers ( in some cases, just potential buyers as they skidded past their intended purchase) were skating all over the place, crashing into display shelves, carefully erected stacks and each other. I was aware that there was a lot of squealing. As they skidded around, they spread the detergent even further, so that people could only exit this mayhem by mincing along tiny slivers of ‘dry’ land. Mortifying.

The woman who had put the detergent into my basket was nowhere to be seen, but it wasn’t her fault; the bottle must have been cracked all along. And it wasn’t mine as I never touched the bottle. But this didn’t prevent me from wishing the floor would swallow me. I was given a replacement bottle, paid for my goods and shimmied out of the door, leaving three or four men trying to clear up the mess.

It was an exciting experience for the few children in the shop. They especially liked the mass of foam where one of the cleaners had added water to the detergent, creating a tiny igloo.

What a farce!

See more of Jo’s paintings on her page in our Directory of Chiswick Artists

Image below: Reflected Trees