When school life becomes a difficult journey

When school life becomes a difficult journey

Guest blog by Justine Briggs

Many people think of summer as a season to unwind and have fun. Who can resist the allure of lazing on the green, eating ice-cream or bathing in the sun? These are moments of summer bliss but for some, it can be a struggle. About 10% of people have what’s called “summer blues” or “summer depression.”

The summer has rolled into the beginning of the autumn term which means the beginning of a new school term. It’s the start of a new year, new school or the complexities of transitioning from primary to secondary school.

This can be a very exciting time with an opportunity to meet up with friends again that they haven’t seen all summer.

School can be seen as a safe place, where boundaries are clear and the teachers consistent in their approach. School offers the opportunity for growth and new learning.

Sometimes morning break and lunch is the best part of the day where you can meet up with friends and engage in endless giggles or fun games.

As a school counsellor I get to see all this up close in real time. As the gates open and students walk through those doors for the first time for the year the atmosphere is electric, palpable. The anticipation is at a heightened level as everyone looks for a familiar face to connect with.

Voices are overly loud or completely absent as some students struggle with the feeling of complete overwhelm at their new environment.

Friendships and friendship groups are the most discussed topic in my counselling room during the first term of school, and for many, this will become an ongoing obstacle.

As professionals and parents, we have this assumption that a good school offers a good education and exposure to new opportunities, but for students, finding their people, their group and fitting in, comes above anything else.

We are creatures of connection and if we feel isolated, learning, no matter how good, becomes a challenge.

The students I would normally see are the ones that struggle to find their voice, feel invisible surrounded by the crowd. They would rather curl up in a ball in the corner of a quiet room and to them, school just isn’t a safe nurturing place.

For many students and their parents, school life can be a difficult journey. As a parent what you want more than anything is to see your child thrive where they will inevitability spend a great deal of their years.

Parents will also feel the anticipation as they hope their children will find friends, enjoy the environment and ultimately gain an education and a positive experience.

If the student has additional needs or is generally sensitive to change, it can add another layer of anxiety for both parent and child. Many schools are well prepared for this but having those discussions about what adaptations they might need are crucial to a smoother transition.

Children, in my experience, are often apprehensive to look or act differently to their peers and will often do their best to blend in. We all just want to fit in; however, these concerns can make school life challenging.

The right support is crucial, as a parent you may need to advocate in a sensitive way, especially if we are talking about a secondary school student. I often hear students say, ‘I would rather not use my time-out card’, or ‘I don’t want to make a big deal or ask for help and bring attention to myself’. However, sensory processing needs can make concentrating and retaining information a challenge, which can eventually affect confidence and motivation to learn.

The role of a school counsellor is to support students that need a little extra nurturing to gain their confidence and explore their new environment at a slower pace. Collecting students at reception in the morning and allowing them to sit with me or another member of staff is something that works well, morning registration can be busy, noisy and can take some getting used to, especially for a sensitive student.

I work alongside the SEND Special Educational Needs & Disabilities team and pastoral support team to make sure that every student that needs additional help gets the support they need from the person most qualified to support them. There is a great deal of thought and preparation that goes into the support we offer.

If as a parent you feel that your child needs more than what is being provided in school, or you can see they are struggling, my advice would be to get in touch with the school and discuss your concerns about what support can be offered.

Schools are dynamic places with many staff working in dual roles with many competing priorities.

If you still feel that school cannot provide the right support for your child, you can use an outside service to work with them to build confidence, address worry, anxiety and provide them with a safe place to talk about their concerns.

This can have a profound impact on the student and provide peace of mind for parents.

Justine Briggs is a BACP accredited therapist and school counsellor.

If you would like to talk to anyone about the issues raised in this blog click here to find a therapist in Chiswick  thegreenhouserooms.com

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